You know, I really don’t even know where to start with this one. My head is pounding horribly and I’m trying to not resort to the use of Ambien and sleep just yet and try to get things done before my shoot tomorrow… All the while, try to handle my phone blowin’ up with business and, of course, drama. FFFFUUUUUUUCCKK that! I’ve got enough of my own right now!

So, my day… Did I get your attention yet? Because this is good…

I flew out this morning to shoot for an internet network who I absolutely LOVE. They’ve been nothing but good to me since day one and have played such a big role in making my name what it is today. On top of that, I’ve always had a pretty damn good rapport with all of the directors, making my days and my shoots with them a hell of a lot easier. They are one of the handful of companies that I continue to shoot with as I step away from the business because I like them so much.

Well, there’s a producer that I have had kind of a rocky relationship with over the last couple of years and, to be completely honest, I have NO IDEA why. The guy makes me a little nervous, but I’m not usually one to tense up. I think maybe I’ve just had one too many randomly bad days on set in his presence which has made interaction a bit rough. However, I approached this producer a while back via email. We exchanged a few, I apologized, he apologized, and we sort of wiped the slate clean. After that, bookings were handled directly between the two of us and all was well. Granted, he knows I’m quite the picky little princess and my anxiety likes to skyrocket at unusual times, we were civil.

Until today.

7:30am flight… I was in the makeup chair around 9:30, done around 11-ish. Well, while the makeup artist was putting the final touches on me, another female talent had just arrived, this one being one that I don’t particularly like and is on my no list, but I kept quiet about it. I casually mentioned to the makeup artist, “Where’s the girl I’m supposed to be working with?”

“That’s her… ********.”

“No… That’s not what my shooting info said a few days ago…”

I went back to double check my emails and sure enough, the girl that had walked in was NOT the one listed on my call sheet. I pulled the production manager aside, quietly, behind closed doors and everything, and asked what the deal was and why talent was changed. Obviously, the original girl cancelled and ******** was a replacement. I explained to him that I would not work with this girl, she is on my ‘no list’ and there was no fighting it… I wasn’t going to do it.

(As a side note, let me explain me choice to add this girl to my extensive no list. She is a hooker. We all know that I’m not a fan. I’m in this business strictly as an entertainment business, not to hook. Yeah, yeah, we’re all having sex for money, whatever. I get it. No use in arguing about it. Most girls do it. I don’t. But most do. I have a lot of friends that do it. Do what you wanna do. However, there’s a big difference between the girls getting paid $2500-$5000 and hour, seeing higher quality men, using condoms and being safe. Then, there’s the dirty ones, with lower hourly rates, turning several tricks a day with anyone and everyone, so desperate for money to blow that they’re not afraid to lose that condom if it means an extra hundred bucks or so in their pocket. It’s disgusting. Yeah, we’re in a business where we all have sex with each other and, in one way or another, I’m having sex with this nasty hooker’s leftovers on camera. But I’m at a point in my career where I don’t even deal with it. If I hear stories or find out some dirty info, I no-list that person. I put myself and my body and my health at risk every time I shoot a scene, so I am not about to put myself in a situation where the stakes are even higher to my knowledge. It’s my body… I have every right to choose who I have sex with, on or off camera. So, knowing and hearing things about ********, she was no-listed long ago.)

When Mr. Producer booked ******** as a replacement, he forgot one important factor when pairing talent… Check the no list! Apparently I’m not on her list, but she was on mine and that’s the one they forgot. The production manager openly admitted to me that it was his fault, he should’ve sent me the info, etc., and he apologized. Regardless, I wasn’t doing the scene. I felt really bad, and I even got teary eyed explaining the situation to the manager because not only did they fly us there to shoot the scene, but I hate to be made out to look like the bad guy in situations like this. But, he kept apologizing, as did I, and he kept reassuring me that it was their fault.

Well… Mr. High & Mighty Producer Man didn’t like this. Apparently he had a bad couple of days and was now going to take it out on me instead of admitting that HE was the one that fucked up and booked a girl without checking with me and now was stuck with two girls, in another state, one of which refused to touch the other even prior to this shoot. Of course, to him, being  that I already have this horrible ‘bitch’ reputation, why not just pin it all on me, right?! The prick had the nerve to have his production manager tell me that I either do the scene or I can just go home. ME?! The one that’s already done with hair and makeup? The one who has been on this scene from the get-go? The one who DIDN’T fuck up in this situation? I was LIVID! I started crying and yelling at the production manager (who I’ve always considered a friend), not yelling in hate, but yelling because, YET AGAIN, Jayden Jaymes is made out to be the colossal bitch when really it was not my fault and I was just trying to do what is right to me. But, of course, you know that after I leave, it’s going to be, “Wow! I can’t believe Jayden walked out on our shoot! She’s such a bitch! We’ll never hire her again!” kind of shit. It’s not fair! But, at the same time, I walked out with my head held high knowing that I stuck to the morals that I have…

Oh, and to top it off, apparently I wasn’t worthy of a kill fee… because it’s all MY fault, right?! And, being that my return flight wasn’t until 6:30pm, I had to fork out $110 to change my flight to get home since they refused to pay it… even though THEY fucked up… Not ME!

Frankly, this was MY scene… the other bitch should’ve been going home… right?!?!?!

While sitting in the airport for 3 1/2 hours, I made plenty of phone calls trying to get the situation handled appropriately so that I’m not made into the bitch and so that this company knew exactly what kind of disrespectful person they had working for them over there. Where I’m at now is expecting a phone call tomorrow afternoon with some ‘options’ for me, whatever that means.

I will say this just to make it very clear. I LOVE this company and have never had anything bad to say about them ever. This producer though… I can’t believe how disrespected and low I feel over my own personal choices to not have sex with someone. This is my health! How do you treat someone that way that doesn’t want to unnecessarily add to the risks she already takes. Those are the actions of an absolutely horrible human being. I hope that something will be said and/or done about the situation now that it’s come to their attention. I would hate for anyone else to be treated so harshly. But, leave it to the ‘bitch’ to go put it on her blog, right? Ha!

(Yes, for once, I left names out. I needed to vent and get it off my chest, but being that I love these guys, I’m not about to put anyone on blast, at least not yet. It’s a great, big, fucked up mix-up solely by this producer and NOT the company, but they’re working on it for me and I greatly appreciate that. Just wanted to point it out, again… This whole ‘bitch’ reputation, for what exactly?!?!?!)

Yep… My buddy, my brother, my go-to guy, my videographer, and one of my best friends, Ivan turned 40!!!!! Where was I??? There… for 10 minutes! God, I felt SO BAD!!! The story: my top-secret guy was flying in that night and the plane landed early! Damnit!!! My ‘Ivan Birthday Time’ was cut short!!! I felt so bad for having to leave after only 10 minutes being that Ivan has been a part of my life for a lot longer than the new guy, but Ivan gave me his blessing and wants to see this one work for me, so there were no hard feelings… But I do owe him a great big sushi dinner!

Ivan’s shindig was held at one of his favorite spots, Clear Lounge in Studio City on Wednesday night. I had arrived at about 10pm and he already had quite the celebration going on! I walked right in to greet Ivan and was pounced by photographers… Oh no! Jayden at a porn party?! Are pigs flying??? Hahahahah! I really do hate porn parties (frankly, it trips me out how girls can’t seem to contain themselves in public!), but Ivan’s my boy… couldn’t not go!

Upon arrival, with Natasha Nice, Ben, London Keyes, Ivan and Jesse.

My look of disgust. I HATE alcohol. London bought me and Ivan a shot... I think I gave mine to Natasha...

Me and the birthday boy!!!

I was around long enough to say hi to some of the other PUBA girls (and the boys behind it!), meet some of Ivan friends, take a handful of pics, then bolt out of there. SORRY IVAN!!! You know I love you!!!

I’m not gonna bore you with the ‘new boy in my life’ details… Y’all don’t wanna hear about that! But it is going positively.

Let’s see… Work… Hey! I actually did a scene! Hahahahah. I mentioned this last time, but I’m not shooting much, by choice, and being very selective with what I do so I can get my personal life together and do things for myself and, now, keep myself sane with the new boy. But I shot a scene for Jonathan Morgan for Wicked (who I absolutely adore!!!). Sadly, for the first time EVER, I was a little under the weather during his shoot. (Damn you to hell, Mother Nature!) What also sucked was that they were streaming live so those poor members, sadly, got to witness a bloody fuckin’ mess! Lucky for me, Tommy Gunn LOVES blood! lol. (To be blunt… SO DO I!!! I LOVE bloody sex!!! It’s warm, it’s wet… What’s not to love?!?! Besides, I think it’s fucking HOT when the bed looks like a murder scene when I’m done!) Aside from not feeling well all day, the scene went pretty good. It took a little longer than usual because I had to keep ‘fixing’ the ‘problem’, but it wasn’t a horrible day. And the nurse costume… SEXY!!!

Not a whole lot else to report on. I’ve got a 7am flight in the morning, heading out for the day to shoot with one of my FAVORITE production companies. I believe I’m shooting with my friend Johnny Sins and the sexy little Brittney Amber. Not a bad day! And I’ve got a scene booked with Naughty America for Wednesday. I’m definitely ready for a couple days of work. It’s been a while since I’ve don’t back-to-back shoots, and I’m probably gonna hate myself for it and be SO TIRED, but I’m ready! I spent the today at a day spa, soaking up some sun, getting a Swedish massage, detoxifying in a red clay mud bath and refreshing in a mineral bath… I think I can handle a little bit of sex!

Goodnight, all!

Man-o-man, I’m totally falling behind, aren’t I?!?!? SORRY!!!!!!! As always, my schedule has been really busy… but, for once in the last couple of years, it’s been all about ME and my PERSONAL LIFE!!! Yay!!!

I don’t even know if I can remember everything over the past month or so to write about it… Hold on… Let me see if there’s any pics in my phone that can jolt my memory…

Well, I’m officially 24 years old!!! Uh-oh… Are they gonna start casting me in MILF movies now??? Hahahahah!!! I HATE that! I really do! There are so many GORGEOUS girls in the biz that are like 26 years old who get casted as MILFs just because they’re ‘mature’. I HATE the word MILF. It’s an UGLY word. Fuck that shit… Unless I’ve had a kid pop out of my vagina, I do NOT want to be cast in a MILF movie!!! Hahahahahah! (MILF: MOTHER I‘d Like to Fuck.)

Okay, so I’m 24, and as I explained in my last entry, the ‘birthday party’ SUCKED!!! My absolute FAVORITE part of my birthday was going to lunch with 2 of my closest girlfriends, Lynda and Ivy, enjoying some exotic food at Tantalum in Long Beach, sitting at a table overlooking the harbor, and getting a little buzzed off sangrias. It was so relaxing and so YUMMY… What more could a girl ask for?!?!?

Me and Ivy toasting to my getting older! lol.

Oh, and Lynda also got me the BEST birthday present EVER!!! Well, kind of… Lynda was in Miami visiting some old friends of hers and doing makeup for a couple music videos right before my birthday and in walks a certain someone making a guest appearance in one of the vids. (The back story on him: Lynda had done his makeup on set before and told me about him and showed me a pic because she thought, physically, he was my type. He sure was! So, yeah, I thought he was cute, but was never a fan or anything, and didn’t think much of it after that original day.) Anyway… The two of them get to catching up a little and she pulled the whole, “So, I have this friend… You to would be great…” thing… She shows him a couple ‘normal’ pics of me… One thing leads to another and he asked her for my number. I honestly didn’t think too much of it because I really didn’t think he’d use it. On the contrary… I got a call that night… Then the communication was constant after that! Since then, we’ve met, we’ve hung out, we’ve been having a lot of fun together when he’s in Cali, etc. He’s doing a lot of traveling press right now, then starting a tour soon, so this is gonna be a little difficult, but it’s worth the fight! I like him a lot and the feelings seem to be mutual… So we’ll see how it goes! (And, NO, I’m not telling who! Hehehehehe… This one’s a secret for now…)

Oh, while Lynda still stuck in my head… She also managed to meet a bunch of really cool people in Miami and, her being a social butterfly (unlike me who is really awkward in social situations!), has managed to build some new friendships. A friend of a friend or hers introduced her to Shaggy (Mr. Luva Luva himself) and she was given some VIP passes to the Ragga Muffins Festival (a reggae fest) in Long Beach to see him and many others perform and she drug me along with her. Not being much of a reggae fan myself, I felt a little out of place (although, the abundance of marijuana and the smoke clouds around me put me at ease!). We wondered around the festival, ate some jerk chicken for the first time (yummy!), saw some amazing performances including one from Yellowman (who I thought did so well considering his condition), hung out with Shaggy, and just had a great time! I have never been to a ‘concert’ with an open floor and not experienced a fight… Until reggae fest… Where everyone is so high that they don’t give a shit! lol. Anyway, Shaggy was a super sweet guy! Oh! And come to find out, he asked Lynda a couple weeks afterward about me… I was introduced with my real name, but I guess his ‘assistant’ recognized me right off the bat but was too shy to say anything, but Shaggy complimented me and my ability to ‘act like a normal human being’ and not a porn star! He said he would have never guessed! lol… GOOD! That’s the whole point! I know a lot of girls like to go out and make it known to the world that they’re ‘porn stars’, but there’s a time and a place… and that’s pretty much just on set! Anyway, I was happy to hear that.

Me and Lynda at the Ragga Muffins Festival.

What else, what else??? Well, I’ve been making a lot of new friends out here at the beach! It’s so nice to be away from the hustle of the city and the constant talk of porn! (I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to talk about work ALL THE TIME. I don’t think most people do. Well… A large number of porn girls do!) I’ve been making friends with people who have 9-to-5 type jobs, who go to school, who have lives and relationships and families… LIKE ME!!! lol. It’s so nice to be able to sit down in a restaurant and not hear, “So, I was doing this scene with this girl and she smelled so bad… And come to find out, she fucked so-and-so’s boyfriend, who, if you didn’t know, has also been fucking so-and-so…” OMG!!! WHO CARES?!?!? Seriously… The number one reason I moved right there!!! I mean, yeah, I like to do my blog and rant every so often, but I can’t talk about it. I never talk about it… That’s why I do the blog… To let it all out! It seriously got to the point where other girls’ drama that had NOTHING to do with me was actually stressing me out. I seriously starting pulling out my own hair!!! NOT GOOD! I had to get away! Not that I totally and completely despise all porn people, but I like to be able to talk about normal things over dinner… not who the latest person with Chlamydia is! So, the new friends are fun and a nice breath of fresh air for me!

My sis, my friend Andrea and me.

I am still very much in touch with all of my ‘porn friends’… And now they have an excuse to get away from the valley, too! Besides… The BEST sushi is out here!!! And my new favorite restaurant is Tantalum and I plan on taking EVERYONE there at some point! I guess Peter North lives in the OC, so my best man friend Craven Moorehead (who shoots all of North’s stuff) comes out often. Plus, he’s got family here. So, he’s introduced me to some great places… And he’s loving the hot new civilian girlfriends of mine! Great eye candy! My girl friend Marizzle drove down to visit the other night, and brought Sadie Swede with her, who I hadn’t seen in a few months, so we hit up my favorite spot and enjoyed great food and good conversation. It’s nice… Being out here I feel like I’ve got the perfect balance between my life as Jayden Jaymes and my life as just plain ol’ me!

Marizzle, Me and Sadie at Tantalum.

As for all of my porn stuff… The website is still up and going strong! I’m working out all of the details of the live webcam stuff right now and that can be expected in May. Yay!!! I’m so excited for that… and I’ll release the details when I can. (I’m under a confidentiality agreement right now, so I can share the juicy details.) Let’s just say that, with the exclusive toy deal that I recently signed with Topco, this is now exclusive contract number two! Whoohoo!!! And while I’m on that subject… My first toy is due out in January 2011.

As for regular shoots… I’m not shooting much, just for my site. I do shoot, but it’s pretty selective. Hell, I’m known as the freakin’ bitch of the industry, so I’m basically not working with people (companies or talent) that bring that side out of me! I’m booking scenes with directors that I get along with and working with talent that I know on a personal level that I can do a good scene with. Maybe that’s a little ‘bitchy’ of me to say, but I’m tired of the whole bitch reputation. It’s not like I wake up thinking ‘I’m gonna be a huge pain in the ass today just to make everyone hate me and make my day that much longer!’ like people thing I do. I’m actually a sensitive person, believe it or not, and I get upset really easily and that’s what causes it. So, I’m just not going to put myself in those compromising situations. Besides… I live so far away now that I don’t wanna do that drive often… Just when I want to… And for who I want to do it for.

Well, I think that about sums it all up for you. Pretty boring, I know… But I’m trying to live my life a little more mellow these days. I’ve heard it from more that one person: “You seem like you head’s in a whole other place right now.” They’re right… It is… It’s called sanity…

My baby girl Karma on the beach.